fragments

dreamy kisses, this
Is familiar, unwanted and
Wanted (when rational). Have
Your way with me, my life
How much of this is grief how
Much
An agenda for self
Annihilation

............

Neck shoulder back whispers whimpers spirals.
My lips are raw I bite
Down hard to keep this inside. Where to begin
Unravel
Ling.

............


voice over the shoulder, breeze below the wrist, touch on the arm, face next to cheek.
dreams.

i smell the sea salt in the shaker, the sea salt in the turquoise of the sea. i am gulping breaths of seaweed and salt and the sky and the golden sun, on the green hill, rolling towards the sand. the scene is imprinted behind my eyelids, alternate universes tattooed in the crevices we don't see but can't unsee. spaces between the fingers, pink under the nails, the flesh inside the elbow, the yellow of the inner arm.

hiraeth.

i am in longing for somethingsomeone of which i know not. running in my sleep, weary when awake, question marks in my soul.

poetic torment always inspired by a want so powerful it becomes need, wrings your soul and leaves you wanting, like sex, like food, like air. gasp,
fill your lungs and your toes with salt.

salt in my tears, salt in my tea, salt on my tongue, salt of the sea.


..........................


I can't breathe
I can't breathe
I can't breathe

Yes you can
Breathe
Remember the glimpse of him you saw when he hugged you and held you at the beach
Breathe
Remember all is not lost
As you stick your head out the window and sang, what is it that you did in gulps and lung full, embracing the moment? You
Breathed
When he poured his heart out to you in the car and you finally remembered what it felt like to love him even fleetingly? You
Breathed
When you drove to the house and remembered driving up the first time and throwing up at the curb and late night walks and remembering how it was you smiled at him and he smiled too you remembered you used to
Breathe
When he kissed you like he meant it and you felt it like you used to
That is how you had, all those years ago, learnt how to
Breathe


now your lungs are on fire
your mouth is burnt raw
you are strapped on a pyre,
burnt to a crisp, your desires.
heaving and gasping
on all fours, charcoal, burning embers
there is more to aspire.
there IS Hope. mirages
shimmer in the distance,
i know you are tired. but
there is Love, within and
without, not Him but others
and others and others.
crawl. run. inhale. aim
higher
the light that blinds you is the light
that alights you, this fire feeds on oxygen but remember
it is all wildfire
what your soul was made from.
So now, you can choose
to let it burn you
or YOU can choose
to let it Inspire.


...............................................