Alien (ated)

Internal Retrospection necessary
Soul workings gone
awry. Dysfunctional
my mind, behaviour.
Unintentional arrogance?
is that the deterrent
averted eyes, change of focus
from them-perhaps
its all in the mind.

Come full circle, Eeda, you
are yet again on a lonely table;
someone else's leftovers for
company; fool yourself it was
your company (wasn't)
upgrade from school bathroom
perhaps, but
i still want to hide my face.

ugly child worthless child
brilliant mind, designed
for lonely space, empty
unfulfilllable.
no competition? lack of
matching wavelengths; you
look up at every voice
hoping it was directed at
you (wasn't).


Illusion Illusion Illusion of mind
confined
in these membranes- walls,
space
no one can enter, space
i cant escape.

i wait
for the one man who hasn't stood me down
loves
me for all the crazy.
only hope
keeps me afloat.

...........